The Australian borders have opened to citizens. Flights have resumed. Australians can return home after two years without having to quarantine. The Irish living in Australia can return to Ireland without fear of losing their visas. Better yet, parents of Australian residents are now being classified as “immediate family”, which means Irish grannies and grandas are expected to storm the border with bags crammed with Sudocrem, Taytos, Cadbury’s chocolate, curry sauces and miniature hurleys.
All those re-runs of Border Security Australia have come in handy as they prepare to smuggle their loot past customs. Already I pity the poor customs officers going up against a very insistent Irish mammy armed with sensible travelling shoes, 20 unmarked bottles of Calpol and an iron will. It was never going to be a fair match.